Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

One of the things that's had me down lately is that a camera bag was stolen out of the trunk of my car two weeks ago, as I was carrying things back into my house after a day at Balticon. (This is the missing equipment mentioned in my entry on the 26th, and most of the "heavy stuff on my mind" alluded to in my entry on the 28th.) I had a migraine that night, so it took a couple hours to realize that I'd carried in fewer things than I'd seen when I'd opened the trunk. I spent the first few days in denial -- "I must've put it in an unusual place when I brought it in. Maybe it's at the hotel and I just imagined it being in the trunk. It'll turn up." Then I spent the next week and a half alternating between being too upset to deal (or too headachy or too tired -- it's been a bad couple of weeks physically, as well) and working on the list of what was taken. I had let my inventory spreadsheet get a little out of date (not much, but it meant that I had to do a lot of checking other records and sorting things together), and after I got that updated, I had to go through my other bags/cases to make sure that I didn't include anything on the list that I actually still had. (In fact, I found three items in the other camera bag that I had thought were in the one that was stolen.)

A few minutes ago, eyes hurting and head throbbing, I finally finished and printed out the list. So I figured I should also post it here, in case any Baltimore-area readers happen to spot any of these things in a pawn shop. (Obviously the items without serial numbers can't be positively identified, but I've included them in case a bunch of stuff all turns up in one place and winds up being easier to notice as a collection.)

Please, I know it's a really long shot, but if you spot any of my gear, please drop me a line.

This is a painful loss (though, as somebody else pointed out, it could've been worse -- it could've been a guitar). This is gear that I can't really afford to replace, and these were my tools. And by that I mean that they were the tools of my art, means by which I express myself; and also that they were tools with which I occasionally (not often enough, but I was hoping for an upward trend) earn money. Some items were gifts, and I've been feeling "I lost a gift" shame over each of those items on top of my feeling of loss. And one item that was borrowed, which is even worse. Other items were incredibly lucky pawn-shop finds; the kinds of deals you just can't count on finding on demand. Some were "because it's a friend" low low price sales. And then there were all the small items that I bought full-price one at a time but can't afford to replace a bunch of all at once. And a couple of more expensive pieces that I picked up when I had a wee bit more money coming in every month than I do now.

These were my tools; things that I had taken pleasure in using and handling. Objects that, in some cases, I'd come to depend on being available when I needed them. I doubt a thief ever really thinks about what the things they take mean to the owner.

Now that I have the list together, I'll give that to the police. In southwest Baltimore, the police probably don't have time to check in with the pawn shops to look for items reported stolen (they're supposed to, as I understand it, but...), but at least I'll have documentation in a police report if I manage to find any of my gear in a pawn shop myself. Then I get to find out whether the insurance on the house covers stuff stolen from my car when it's parked on the street in front. Wish me luck.

While checking pawn shops, I'll also carry the list of serial numbers from the gear that was stolen when my house was burgled in January 2001. Just in case any of it made it to a pawn shop but hasn't been sold in two and a half years. Not likely, but hey, it's just one more sheet of paper to carry...

I keep trying to tell myself "it's only stuff," and remind myself that this isn't 'game over' for my photography -- I've still got all my screwmount gear (except the screwmount->K-mount adaptor), two K-mount bodies, and some important lenses. And that eventually I'll manage to slowly accumulate more gear, so ultimately this will just be a temporary setback. I keep trying to tell myself these things. But I don't listen very well.

And I'm gonna delete the two paragraphs that got really morose and even more little whiny. Feh.

"Kids today, with their so-called 'reduced instruction set' CPUs that are so bloated and decadent that they have built-in *MULTIPLY* instructions... fer crissakes, you should all have to bit-shift and add, then hand assemble it, then poke it into memory one byte at a time, like I did, in the snow, uphill, BOTH WAYS!" -- Doug DeJulio (from a mailing list conversation about retrocomputing)