Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

A thought about ecumenical spirit from Emo Phillips:

I was in San Fransisco once, walking along the Golden Gate Bridge, and I saw this guy on the bridge about to jump. So I thought I'd try to stall and detain him, long enough for me to put the film in. I said, "Don't jump!" and he turns... You've heard of the elephant man. He was kind of like that, he had a, well, you could say he had the head of a horse. And my heart went out to him. I said, "Why the long face?"

He said, "'Cause all my life people have called me mean names like horses-head or Flicka or chess-piece or Trigger..."

I said, "Well, don't worry about it, Ed. It can't be that bad."

He said, "My girlfriend's suing me!"

I said, "For palomino?"

He said, "Why was I put on this Earth?"

I said, "My friend, anywhere else you wouldn't stand a chance."

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you, you silly ninny."

He said, "How do you know there's a God?"

I said, "Of course there's a God. Do you think that billions of years ago a bunch of molecules floating around at random could someday have had the sense of humor to make you look like that?"

He said, "I do believe in God."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me too. Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me too! What franchise?"

He says, "Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He says, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I say, "Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over!

(Copied from a repository of Emo Phillips quotes, because I didn't have the whole thing memorized.)

And on a more appropriate note, something I think it's safe to assume is a point of agreement among the various sects of Christians (though there isn't universal agreement on the date for celebrating it -- see the rest of you in a note under next Sunday's QotD): Happy Easter! Happy Our-Lord-Rose-From-Death Day! (*ahem* Presumably not as a zombie or a vampire, at least according to our (Christians') version of the story.)

And for non-Christians celebrating today, happy Chocolate Bunny Day, happy Pretty Hats Day, happy Spring Fertility Celebration, and happy Yet Another Excuse For A Sale day!

And since I missed saying something at the start of it, happy middle of Passover as well!

Just in case any of you haven't already seen this since Friday, here's a culinary link for the holiday: Easturducken (Easter turducken), though it's bunny-chick-egg instead of turkey-duck-chicken, so other names have been suggested, such as "bunpeegg". "Making Easter turducken is, fortunately, much easier than a traditional turducken, as it abandons all that pesky protein while fully embracing the empty carbohydrates and fat. While technically Easter turducken is a dessert and traditional turducken a main course, they should never be consumed in the same meal. That would be heresy."

And as an extra bonus, if you make it according to their directions you have an excuse to use a Dremmel moto-tool for cooking.

"Voilà, the loathsome hollow bunny is transformed into several thousand calories, as God intended. Many children wonder around Easter how it is that bunnies lay eggs. As a side benefit, Easter turducken illustrates clearly that this 'theory' is wrong. Obviously bunnies lay chickens, which then lay the eggs. Mystery solved."

(Unfortunately I'm no more likely to eat Easturducken than a Thanksgiving turducken, because Peeps are eeevil, but I enjoyed reading this bit of culinary engineering and am having fun imagining certain friends bouncing around on the resulting sugar-high.)