Hmm. I need to get out to the drug store but I've delayed
until one of the loud times of day, and I'm finding car stereos
quite painful from inside my house, so dreading facing them
from the sidewalk. Whoops. (At least I think my legs are up
to the walk today, though kinda marginal. Going to have to be
careful not to uy too much heavy stuff though, as my shoulders
aren't going to take a big load today.)
I got some criticism and direction that raised my hackles
because although the request itself was not unreasonable, the
tone with which it was delivered made me feel like I was being
unfairly picked on and put down. I held my tongue. Then I
got different criticism and instructions from someone else and
reacted the same way, despite this too being reasonable apart
from the delivery. So I'm thinkin' that maybe, whether the
two messages could have been delivered a bit more gently or
not, I'm on a hair trigger to take offense and that it's a
good thing I held back my reactions; that maybe a major portion
of the unreasonableness is on my end. I'm not sure. I don't
feel able to judge objectively in my current headspace so I'll
revisit this in a week or so if I remember, and examine which
of my buttons were pushed and how. Thing is, I like to think
I normally take criticism better than this.
It probably doesn't help that I've been feeling easily-overwhelmed
by storms-of-little-things lately, more frustrated than usual
with my body and less able to accomplish tasks that I really
need to get done, and my sleep has been FUBAR for the past week
or so. Even things like discovering I'd screwed up programming
the VCR, or having the reception on one VCR degrade while it
was taping Bones, to the point that House was
utterly unwatchable when I got to it, seem like Tragedies when
I discover them. I have got to get this sleep upfuckedness
sorted out.
Short term memory is extra-flaky lately as well (I figured
I'd better write down that lick I posted as quickly as possible
lest it fly out of my head) ... I'm still trying to remember
what I was planing to write about the tension between fascism
and dominionism. And related to that overwhelmed feeling I
mentioned, no matter what I'm doing, even if it's the top
item on my to-do list, I can't shake the feeling that I Should
Be Doing Something Else and get properly into the task at hand.
I'm still waiting for that referral letter for the orthopedist.
I'm rather worried about my wrist.