Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

Responding to the question of why she decided to come out when she did: "It was only when I realized, I think, that I could be viewed as a labour leader in my own right, and that talking about my sexuality would actually be a way of expanding other civil rights. I realized that that I needed to actually be a role model and a leader in this area by using myself." -- Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers, interviewed on the PBS television program, In The Life, episode, "Lifesavers" (aired, at least in my area, in the wee hours of 2008-11-10).

I've got all these things I mean to write. Ideas that could make interesting essays ifwhen I have time to flesh them out. My extremely important opinions ('important' because they're mine, of course) on the Issues Of The Day. Upcoming stuff I want y'all to know about. Recent stuff a few of you might care about (and everyone else will excuse the triviality of 'cause hey, it's a blog and people do that). The stuff that's been troubling me that I should figure out how to ask for advice/help on. Links to niftycool stuff other people have linked to or I've stumbled across while looking for something else.

Let's start with the embarassingly overdue thanks for how my birthday went (two and a half weeks ago). Now, I knew I have a lot of friends, and believe me, I feel blessed by that, but I didn't realize I still had so many "show up on a weeknight with less than a week notice" friends, after (unintentionally) acting a little hermit-like for the past few years! I did count the chairs before I picked that restaurant, and it did occur to me that many people could show up, but my expectations were lower. I must say -- and ought to have said two weeks ago -- that I am grateful for the turnout and was really glad to see so many of you, especially the too-many of you that I hadn't seen in a long time.

But there were more friends in one place than I could have decent conversations with in one evening, and I felt like I was neglecting people -- again, including some I hadn't seen in Far Too Long -- who were farther away from where I sat. Having so many familiar faces gathered around me was wonderful, but now I need to start doing what I said I'd wanted to: start seeing people (whether you were at my birthday or not) just to see y'all and catch up, without a Big Event to remind me to do so. And in smaller groups so I can actually talk to everyone. (I need more good days, health-wise, too.)

I suck at that, lately. I don't like that fact.

Round-number birthdays are often presented as milestones of a sort -- I mean, I suppose every birthday is a milestone (okay, a 585-million-mile marker), but multiples-of-ten seem to be look-backwards/look-ahead occasions in our culture at least, and later ones are portrayed as times to Notice One's Mortality and/or notice the last decade's accumulation of effects of aging. Which is not to say that everybody -- or even, perhaps, most people -- are actually thinking along those lines on their later decade-birthdays, but there are a bunch of memes (perhaps this is a better place for the word 'tropes'; I'm no sure) about how people are assumed to be thinking, what fictional characters must be feel if their sory includes such a birthday, recurring themes on birthday cards, etc..

The ghost-of-health-crises-yet-to-come threw me off balance (mostly afterward when I had more time to analyze what it was), but was not enough to spoil my enjoyment of the company of so many friends. I noticed the start of my reaction at dinner, and it seemed worth writing down later, but most of the evening I was just enjoying having so many friends around me right then, rather than obsessing about what might happen tomorrow. Even now, as dramatically morbid as the preceeding section of this entry probably sounds, it's a nagging footnote in my recollection of the evening, one that bore closer examination later but not the main point I remember. The important bits are the smiles, laughter, hugs, massage, ideas, the feeling connected.

I am blessed. I am lucky. And I know it. It would be easy to feel proud that so many of you came -- to feel important or something -- but I mostly just feel incredibly lucky to have so many cool, interesing, great people in my life. Even after not really holding up my end for several years, with a lot of you. Thank you. Thank you for being such interesting people, and thank you for being here. (That goes for those of you who weren't literally there that night, too!)

Thanks.