"I've never undersood the appeal of vampire romances. The traditional Dracula scenario is to be mesmerized by a vampire who sucks your blood for sustenance. The real life equivalent would be a handsome man seducing you while you're drunk and stealing your wallet to buy a sandwich." -- Grace Sciuridae, in EGS:NP, an out-of-continuity side-comic using the same characters as El Goonish Shive, by Dan Shive, sometimes in 2009
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