Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

"As a veteran of many an electoral defeat at the polls, may I remind you of the proper Texan attitude toward slaughter at the polls?

"A few years before Billie Carr died this September at age 74, a friend called to ask how she was doing. 'Well,' she said, 'They just impeached my boy up in Washington, there's not a Democrat left in statewide office in Texas, the Republicans have taken every judgeship in Harris County, and yesterday I found out I have cancer.'

Pause.

"'I think I'll go out and get a pregnancy test because with my luck, it'll come back positive.'"

-- Molly Ivins (via Jone Johnson Lewis' collection of quotations on about.com)