"The easiest way to save money on your taxes is to not work. Americans who earn money from investments instead of a job get to pay lower rates. Let's level the playing field between the idle rich and normal people by treating all money the same. However, as an extra leveler, all working-age Americans who earn a majority of their money from investments have to write 'Labor Makes; Wall Street Takes' at the top of their tax returns. Within the next three months, IRS-hired goons will then schedule an appointment either at home or a place of employment to deliver a government-sponsored wedgie. Not only will this encourage the flow of capital into paychecks instead of into Wall Street, but it will also provide a much-needed boost to America's flagging goon-related labor markets." -- Evan Mintz, "A modest tax proposal: End payroll taxes, hire IRS goons and bring back the guillotine," Houston Chronicle [thanks to realinterrobang for quoting this earlier]