Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

"OMG I HAVE MULTIPLE ACRES OF WOODS THIS YEAR AT SOLSTICE hey I need a male volunteer to be hunted through the woods by a bunch of drunk women also if we catch you we get to tear you apart with our bare hands to symbolize the dying of the sun.

"Afterwards dudes who did not get hunted this year are invited to partake of a very nice cake and the one who gets the dry bean will be the new year-king.

"He will need to return on the next winter solstice to be hunted by drunken, murderous women

[...]

"7) Although it is traditional for maenads to ingest the raw flesh of the dismembered year-king, it is officially discouraged now that we know about prions and blood borne pathogens. [...]"

-- Auntie Shepherd (NeolithicSheep), 2019-12-11, 2019-12-12

Then, after many other replies, this:

"You know you've made it when people volunteer to get ritually murdered because you asked nicely." -- Kari Dru (KariDru), 2019-12-12

"I feel like a lot of them are skipping over the ritual dismemberment part" -- Auntie Shepherd (NeolithicSheep)

Have a good solstice, everyone -- and best of luck to whomever's hunted! (For the astronomically inclined, the solstice will be at 23:19 EST -- or in GMT, 4:19 tomorrow morning.)