Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

The earliest copy of this I've found (posted by a different person two days later) credits it to John Baker, 2018-12-24:

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the choir
The balance between the four sections was dire.
The tenor had suddenly taken to bed
Whilst mucus and phlegm clogged his resonant head.
The mezzo was sauced and passed out by the fire
While dreaming of scenes from "Samson and Delilah."
The bass, caught in traffic, laid hard on the horn
As if any around him cared less for his scorn.
When out in the narthex there 'rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bench to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear:
Our soprano, with classmates home for the New Year!
A quartet most comely had come to our aid,
To help sing our Masses (so long as they're paid).
"Now, Rutter! Now, Willcocks! Now Britten and Gruber!"
We'll make sure you all get home safe in an Uber.
From the introit, and psalm and each closing refrain,
The descants will serve as our vocal champagne.
So, sing merrily! For this time is the best
to proclaim "Hodie Christus natus est!"