I know this is late for the seders -- I didn't see it early enough, and then it took me a while to track down the source -- but hey, it's still Pesach, so before it gets even later, here are Steven Richard Sheffey's (stevesheffey) "Top ten signs you might be at a Republican seder" (2022-04-10):
- They refuse to answer the four questions without a subpoena.
- They demand a recount of the ten plagues.
- They defend not increasing the minimum wage on the grounds that according to Chad Gadya it still costs only two zuzzim to buy a goat.
- The afikomen is hidden in the Caymen Islands.
- They refuse to open the door for Elijah until they see his immigration papers.
- They attack Moses for negotiating a deal with Pharoah because why would we negotiate with our enemies?
- They don't understand why the Egyptians didn't cure the plagues with hydroxychloroquine.
- They omit the parts about slavery from the Haggadah because it reminds them of Critical Race Theory.
- They keep saying "when do we get to the miracle of the Jewish space lasers?"
And the number one sign that you might be at a Republican seder:- They end the seder by singing "Next year in Mar-a-Lago."