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posted by [personal profile] eftychia at 05:26am on 2006-05-25 under

"Marriage's health depends far less on society's preference for heterosexuality over homosexuality than on society's preference for marriage over non-marriage, and we must now choose between those two preferences." -- Jonathan Rauch (of the Brookings Institution), "Family's Value" (requires login; try bugmenot.com), New Republic, 2005-05-25 (quote appears on second page of article, link is to first page)

There are 8 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] anniemal.livejournal.com at 11:20am on 2006-05-25
Umm, why?
 
posted by [identity profile] realinterrobang.livejournal.com at 11:22am on 2006-05-25
Good question. Anyone who's worried about the health of an institution like marriage (and I'm not yet ready for an institution, thank you) needs to be watched out of the corner of one's eye.
 
posted by [identity profile] anniemal.livejournal.com at 12:36pm on 2006-05-25
Aye. I married for health insurance. S_C will tell you that I said that. Oh, and I love him, too. He is the best dance partner I've ever had. And I want to see to his happiness (such as he allows) all the days we have together. Not that he makes it easy. But I married for health insurance. Isn't the world peculiar? Sign here. Say these words. You are a spouse. You suddenly look at your SO in a new way. Sort of.

My marriage can only be endangered by an attractive Unix sysadmin. We have a mortgage in common, and care about our hus.
 
dominatrix Zurich teddy bearMy marriage can only be endangered by an attractive Unix sysadmin.
I meet so few female Unix sysadmins that you don't need to worry about any attractive ones. (And attractive male Unix sysadmins are not a danger.)
 
And attractive male Unix sysadmins are not a danger.
Unless they turn your head.
 
posted by [identity profile] dglenn.livejournal.com at 05:49pm on 2006-05-25
Well, if you consider that the original speaker was (AFAICT) primarily addressing an audience for whom the Need To 'Defend' Marriage is axiomatic, and who had been using -- or tricked into accepting -- the 'defense of marriage' as a justification for bias against (even oppression of) homosexuals ... well that explains the "why" rather nicely while also confirming that they're talking to folks who need to be watched.

Importantly, it provides all of us a response to those folks that we can use without first having to convince them their axioms are wrong -- whether we share that particular belief of not.
 
posted by [identity profile] squire-liz.livejournal.com at 01:54pm on 2006-05-25
wow, very well said. Thank you for shareing, I've really been enjoying the quotes.
 
posted by [identity profile] katrinb.livejournal.com at 12:28pm on 2006-05-26
Wrong. Not SOCIETY's preference. Society's preference either a) has no effect as those who want to marry will anyway and those who don't won't, or b) has a negative effect in pushing some people into marriages they don't really want and won't sustain (back when society forced most people into marriage and wouldn't let them leave, there were a heck of a lot of meaningless, loveless marriages whose vows were routinely violated - I think we're better off with the modern divorce rate, myself).
IF we want more people to marry in this society (an open question, AFAIC, since I think most people who want to marry will do so), marriage needs to be a more attractive option for INDIVIDUALS. The only way government can really help this is by not barring people from marriage who want to marry, and by encouraging factors (like education and financial well-being) that tend to promote success in marriage.
I would point out, for example, that areas with better public educational systems, better financial "safety nets" and more socially liberal policies tend to have more successful marriages. The divorce rate in this country is highest in the Bible Belt and lowest in Massachusetts, IIRC.

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