Sure, great for him. And if he was single and uncommitted to begin with, that _is_ just great. The trouble is, guys like that usually have left behind a wife of 30 years and a couple kids who need their Dad. And maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I do think that long-term relationships and commitments, particularly to one's kids, mean something. In the end, 30 years of sustained partnership and mutual caring, if properly cherished, might mean more than a fling with a girl half your age who can knot her ankles behind her head. Is the 20-year-old yoga instructor still going to be with him when he's old and ill and in the hospital? Speaking as a 31-year-old married woman with a kid, who'd rather like my husband to stick around through his mid-life crisis, if he has one, so perhaps I'm biased, and touchy. But there are multiple perspectives to these things.
Sure. Until you start to wonder what a 20-year-old yoga instructor wants with a man twice her age, or what they have to converse about with so little life experience in common. Not that relationships with large age differences necessarily fail. Some people are just more mature for their age. But a midlife crisis relationship is very frequently transparently reliant on sex-sex-and-only-sex, and thus is not really built to last. It's great for a bit, but then she leaves you for the 22-year-old surfing instructor, and then where are you?
Yeah, I was going to say... A 20 year old dating a guy in his 40s? There's not much there there, and it'll probably fall apart after the first initial bout of sex, when she realises that he can't keep up with her over the long haul.
(I've noticed this myself -- with my disability, in terms of my energy level, I'm basically like a person in late middle age, and I'm only in my early 30s. So when dating people my own age, I've found they often just move too fast for me. A distinct lack of hilarity often ensues.)
When the 20-year-old either runs off with his money and some guy who works at the marina, or turns out to be both dumb and pregnant, plus he runs out of money just when his boat gets trashed by a hurricane and it turns out she never mailed the last insurance payment.
I figure if you married a guy who'd do that, you're better off without him because he's a jerk. A jerk far away is much better than a jerk nearby whining about your weight or whatever, even if he does contribute financially.
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Speaking as a 31-year-old married woman with a kid, who'd rather like my husband to stick around through his mid-life crisis, if he has one, so perhaps I'm biased, and touchy. But there are multiple perspectives to these things.
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Not that relationships with large age differences necessarily fail. Some people are just more mature for their age. But a midlife crisis relationship is very frequently transparently reliant on sex-sex-and-only-sex, and thus is not really built to last. It's great for a bit, but then she leaves you for the 22-year-old surfing instructor, and then where are you?
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(I've noticed this myself -- with my disability, in terms of my energy level, I'm basically like a person in late middle age, and I'm only in my early 30s. So when dating people my own age, I've found they often just move too fast for me. A distinct lack of hilarity often ensues.)
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He *will* feel foolish
I figure if you married a guy who'd do that, you're better off without him because he's a jerk. A jerk far away is much better than a jerk nearby whining about your weight or whatever, even if he does contribute financially.