Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

Not sure whether I should've limited access to this post or not. I'll probably make up my mind after it's too late.

I just finished editing the abc file (and generating a PDF) for a tune I've been working on -- John and Jim helped me with the chords at Homespun Ceilidh Band rehearsal a few hours ago. It's called "Dishes in the Sink and a Song in My Heart (or, Thank You for Coming to Dinner)", and it's a jig. It's pentatonic, and the mode changed sometime during the time I was composing it, so I had a little trouble figuring out what key signature to use for making up the chords (though it seems so obvious now that I've got chords for it). I stuck the PDF in a temp directory on the web for my bandmates to grab it if they want.

Okay, I'm still not remembering what else I thought it was important to mention here, so I guess it's time to either go to the harbour with cameras or go to bed.

I prefer satin in general, but I want a pair of these Prayer Panties. There's just something about the idea... (Hmm. Only problem (other than lack of funds) is that they're bikini style, which usually means too low in the front for me. *sigh* (Don't think about that too hard or it'll become TMI))

I did go shoot a few frames of the snow falling at the Inner Harbour. Attracted the attention of one person in uniform, but he didn't ask me for identification or anything, just asked about the way I was dressed and observed that "there's nothing wrong with [taking a few pictures]". I used up the few frames left over from Darkover in two cameras, considered reloading, and decided to just go with the little bit I'd shot and head home. My fingers were getting cold despite the gloves, and I didn't relish the thought of reloading a camera in the snow.

On the way home I noticed the floodlights on Lombard St. that point at the side of the Bromo Seltzer Tower, and the cool way the falling snow looked as it fell past and onto the lights, so I reloaded one camera in the relative comfort of my car, turned off the engine (to kill the vibrations), rolled my window down partway, and shot the lights with the camera braced on the window. For the slower shutter speeds, I rolled the window back up until it gripped the lens firmly between the glass and the top of the window frame, for even more stability. Hope I got something good.

Going to crash now. Car is safely stowed around the corner on a street that's not a Snow Emergency Route. I would've swept or shovelled the sidewalk before coming in except for two things: 1) it's still snowing hard enough that anything I do now will be moot by the time anyone else cares, and 2) my right knee locked up on my front step on my way into the house -- I've got it so I can walk on level ground now, but stairs are difficult (sharp pains in the front of the knee, under the kneecap) and I figure I should stay off it for now and hope it's better after I've slept.

Fulton and Monroe are heavily salted. So is Pratt for the block between Fulton and Monroe, but other than that, neither Pratt nor Lombard has been salted west of Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. Fulton and Monroe constitute a segment of US Route 1, you see, but this end of Lombard is "just us poor folks"... With any luck they'll get to Lombard by sunup, but I figure it's about a 50/50 chance.

I'm slowly realizing that I'm so far behind on LiveJournal comments that I'm just never going to get to all the posts by other people that I've got bookmarked to comment on, and maybe not even manage to reply to all the comments people have made to my posts. Let's see whether I manage to turn realization into acceptance, or whether I get stubborn.

Worse, there's a post I started writing over a week ago -- the editor session is still up, and if I type 'fg' after I post this, I'll be staring at the half-written mess again -- about something I really want to describe, but I can't quite figure out how to organize it into words.

jducoeur wrote an essay on Safety and Freedom that I think is worth reading I feel it's important for as many people to read as possible:

[...] The worst problem, though, isn't so much what the obsessives are trying to do. Rather, it's the fact that the populace is letting it happen quietly, without pushing back nearly hard enough. Both of these desires, for safety and freedom, are natural. But it is almost always the responsibility of those in government to push the safety line: the sort of people who seek a role in government tend to think that way. Which means that it's the responsibility of the rest of us to push back -- to see that the measures taken are moderate and measured, rather than a blind rush to any safe harbor, regardless of consequence. [...]

I was wondering ... are any of my friends interested in my long reply to that sex and gender survey now that I've finally finished it and mailed it off, or would posting my answers just be more cyber-exhibitionism? (Not like I'm any stranger to that; I do have a livejournal, after all...) I did wimp out a bit on the tricky definitions questions.

I know there's at least one detail in there that will surprise some people. It always does -- it's something I've said for a long time (though not often, as it doesn't often come up in conversation) but there's always somebody surprised by it.

Got an appointment with my primary physician on Friday, mostly to talk about one of my prescriptions (Protonix no longer seems to work at the 40 mg/day dosage; instead of one pill a day I need nine or ten per week). I'm not looking forward to it. First I have to convince my body that it feels well enough to get out of the house earlier than usual, then I expect to wait a long time and only get five minutes of the doctor's time, and I've got additional questions to ask her that I probably won't be given a chance to ask (like whether the migraine-like headaches I've been having are in fact migraines, and what to do about them). Although my rheumatologist does take a bit of time with me -- and actually listens to me -- I generally dread doctor visits because they seem like a lot of effort for too little result and too much frustration.

I guess I ought to make a point of scheduling as many appointments as it takes to get my problems dealt with, and squeeze some medical care out of Kaiser Permanente, but the process feels so unpleasant to me that I wind up avoiding it as much as possible ... and with my finances the way they are, that $15/visit copay hurts if it happens too often. So Kaiser has managed to train me to procrastinate seeking medical care and to avoid making use of the services I've paid for. And I resent them for that even as I realize that I should just bite the bullet and do the opposite. But this sort of thing wears me down. I'm tired of it.

And did I mention that they reduced my benefits at the same time that they raised my premium? I think I said something about it a couple of weeks ago ... One of these browser windows open on my desktop should have a list of health insurance plans from other providers that I need to investigate.

Something I was thinking about but forgot when babbling into livejournal earlier...

Children are expected to love snow. As a child, I loved snow. As a child I was told, "Wait until you're a grownup -- snow won't seem like as much fun." Later, as an adult, I heard other adults say the same thing to their children.

Adults seem to be "not supposed to" love snow. Unless we're on a ski trip, we're supposed to see it as an inconvenience, a hazard, uncomfortable, an obstacle, a bringer of extra chores; we're supposed to be upset at what snow does to schedules, and to fear the injuries and property damage it can lead to.

As an adult, I love the snow. Snow makes me feel more connected to my childhood. I do see the snow as "something I have to deal with" -- shovelling the sidewalk and steps, digging out the car, allowing extra time for travel ... but even when I'm dreading shovelling, or wincing at how much longer it takes to get anywhere, or finding out that something I wanted to do has been cancelled, that's never quite enough to shut up the kid in the back of my brain screaming, "Snow! Pretty! A snow day! A snow day!" and jumping up and down on the bed.

Watching the television news people this morning, specifically the ones who were broadcasting from outdoors, and noticing how they interact with each other, I get the distinct impression that my attitude is pretty common. It's like adults are "supposed" to not like the snow, but (many?most?) of us still do. Or maybe we're supposed to like it but pretend we don't. Reading comments from Elboids when the first flakes fall in various cities provides additional evidence for this hypothesis.

[bleep] that. Put me in the "ain't gonna bother to pretend not to like it just because grownups are supposed to pretend they don't like it" column. It does get in my way, it does make extra work, and sometimes being out in it makes me cold and wet, but fercryinoutloud, it's SNOW! Wheee!