Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

I'm slowly realizing that I'm so far behind on LiveJournal comments that I'm just never going to get to all the posts by other people that I've got bookmarked to comment on, and maybe not even manage to reply to all the comments people have made to my posts. Let's see whether I manage to turn realization into acceptance, or whether I get stubborn.

Worse, there's a post I started writing over a week ago -- the editor session is still up, and if I type 'fg' after I post this, I'll be staring at the half-written mess again -- about something I really want to describe, but I can't quite figure out how to organize it into words.

jducoeur wrote an essay on Safety and Freedom that I think is worth reading I feel it's important for as many people to read as possible:

[...] The worst problem, though, isn't so much what the obsessives are trying to do. Rather, it's the fact that the populace is letting it happen quietly, without pushing back nearly hard enough. Both of these desires, for safety and freedom, are natural. But it is almost always the responsibility of those in government to push the safety line: the sort of people who seek a role in government tend to think that way. Which means that it's the responsibility of the rest of us to push back -- to see that the measures taken are moderate and measured, rather than a blind rush to any safe harbor, regardless of consequence. [...]

I was wondering ... are any of my friends interested in my long reply to that sex and gender survey now that I've finally finished it and mailed it off, or would posting my answers just be more cyber-exhibitionism? (Not like I'm any stranger to that; I do have a livejournal, after all...) I did wimp out a bit on the tricky definitions questions.

I know there's at least one detail in there that will surprise some people. It always does -- it's something I've said for a long time (though not often, as it doesn't often come up in conversation) but there's always somebody surprised by it.

Got an appointment with my primary physician on Friday, mostly to talk about one of my prescriptions (Protonix no longer seems to work at the 40 mg/day dosage; instead of one pill a day I need nine or ten per week). I'm not looking forward to it. First I have to convince my body that it feels well enough to get out of the house earlier than usual, then I expect to wait a long time and only get five minutes of the doctor's time, and I've got additional questions to ask her that I probably won't be given a chance to ask (like whether the migraine-like headaches I've been having are in fact migraines, and what to do about them). Although my rheumatologist does take a bit of time with me -- and actually listens to me -- I generally dread doctor visits because they seem like a lot of effort for too little result and too much frustration.

I guess I ought to make a point of scheduling as many appointments as it takes to get my problems dealt with, and squeeze some medical care out of Kaiser Permanente, but the process feels so unpleasant to me that I wind up avoiding it as much as possible ... and with my finances the way they are, that $15/visit copay hurts if it happens too often. So Kaiser has managed to train me to procrastinate seeking medical care and to avoid making use of the services I've paid for. And I resent them for that even as I realize that I should just bite the bullet and do the opposite. But this sort of thing wears me down. I'm tired of it.

And did I mention that they reduced my benefits at the same time that they raised my premium? I think I said something about it a couple of weeks ago ... One of these browser windows open on my desktop should have a list of health insurance plans from other providers that I need to investigate.