Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

I'm really torn here. I don't want you to have to hide for a month, but I know that many places are even LESS tolerant of trans people than the northeastern US is, and I wouldn't want you to get beaten or killed. Perhaps you could assess the lay of the land once you get there before you make any decisions?

About your mom. Isn't there any sort of statute of limitations on that promise? I think one of the reasons why marriage is such a big deal is because the promises that married people make to one another at their wedding are supposed to last a lifetime ... and most other promises are not. I think you need to find a way to undo that long-ago promise to your mother. Maybe you tell her that you have to break it, maybe you tell her that unless she lets you out of it, you can't be her caregiver, maybe you find some other solution. But you can't live this way. And it's unfair that this long-ago promise, made at a time in your life when you didn't have the clarity on trans issues that you have now, controls you forever.

Best of luck during the trip to Cypress. I hope you and your relatives will enjoy one another.

What size are you now? I'm getting rid of some old skirts. I've gotten fat enough that they're probably too big for you, but just to check first...