Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

In the "difficult post" category...

This morning, misia posted an uncomfortable but very important entry about sexual violence and visibility. How "you're not supposed to talk about it". Among other things,

"I wondered for a moment what it would look like if just for one day, everyone who had survived sexual violence were visible as a survivor, if we could actually see the extent of it, if we could all know just how very not-alone we are. I wondered how angry and sad it would make me to know. I wondered how much power there might be in the truth."

First, I encourage everyone who hasn't read her entry yet to go do so. The comments are as valuable as the entry. Among others, harriet_spy wrote

"I sometimes wonder what effect something like that would have on American men. I think there are a great many decent sorts out there who find the idea of rape repugnant, but also something very remote, something that hasn't happened in their own lives or those of the women (much less the men) they know. So when the statistics on sexual violence come out, it doesn't resonate with them because it doesn't seem to jibe with their personal experiences."

misia

I've talked about my own experience before, and written about it way back when I was active on a.s.b, so it's not exactly a secret. But it's not something I look for excuses to bring up, or particularly enjoy talking -- or thinking -- about, and I don't think it's come up in conversation in the past several years and I don't recall having mentioned it here in my journal yet, so a lot of my friends probably don't know. I've told the whole tale before, and will do so again if needed, but would rather not do so today. As misia wrote in her entry,

"This isn't about telling the story of what happened [...] This is about being public in regard to something that is normally kept a very big, very dark secret, thus ensuring that we can all pretend that This Sort Of Thing Doesn't Happen To People Like You And Me. It does happen to people like you and me. Trust me, I know."

I must confess, as I read through the comments, I find myself holding my breath and praying not to find certain names among those standing up to be counted. Praying that they're among the lucky ones. Difficult reading, but important. Go.

"No Pity. No Shame. No Silence."

Is it a bad sign when one of the urgent items on my to-do list is "update and organize to-do list"?