Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

[Y'all remember Xena: Warior Princess, starring Lucy Lawless, right?]

"In short, when I can tell you how I break the laws of gravity,
 And why my togs expose my intermammary concavity,
 And why my comrade changed her dress from one that fit more comfily
 To one that shows her omphalos (as cute as that of Omphale),
 And why the tale of Spartacus appears in Homer's versicon,
 [She holds up a tomato:]
 And where we found examples of the genus Lycopersicon,
 And why this Grecian scenery looks more like the Antipodes,
 You'll say I'm twice the heroine of any in Euripides!"
   -- from "I am the very model of a heroine barbarian", by Kevin Wald, 1996 [the melody should be obvious, no?] Note: original has footnotes which some folks may find useful and/or entertaining

(Though I'm a night owl and more likely to be falling asleep than getting up at the relevant time, ever since first reading this all those years ago the line "I wake up every morning, ere the dawn is rhododactylous" flits through my head every so often and makes me giggle. When I first saw this, something about the way that word (a) fit so perfectly, (b) yanked me straight back to middle school and Greek class, and (c) was just not a word I expected to see in an English-language piece, made me laugh so hard I had to stop reading to catch my breath. It took me several readings to make it past that line to the rest of the verse and the rest of the song.)