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eftychia: Me in kilt and poofy shirt, facing away, playing acoustic guitar behind head (Default)
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QotD

posted by [personal profile] eftychia at 05:24am on 2014-05-23

"am increasingly mystified by people who deny they could have given offense, as if being offended or hurt was somehow a treat for the victim. is it that much of a loss of face to say 'sorry, didn't mean to be a jerk, please give me time to reconsider what i did or said'? what do you have to lose besides the lacuna in communication and mutual respect?" -- @vicka, 2013-02-10, three sequential tweets

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There are 3 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
twistedchick: watercolor painting of coffee cup on wood table (Default)

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posted by [personal profile] twistedchick at 12:40pm on 2014-05-23
There is a mindset I've encountered, in which the person has been so oppressed by other matters/events/people that he/she has set his feet in the earth and refuses to budge -- and that includes saying sorry, because it's admitting that once again he/she is wrong. There is no gradation of 'wrongness' -- 'sorry' for something offensive is equivalent to admitting to an admission of being worthless lying scum.

It is something I had to deal with in a relative for a long long time, and I never figured out how to do it.
Edited Date: 2014-05-23 12:41 pm (UTC)
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herveus: (Default)

(no subject)

posted by [personal profile] herveus at 02:26pm on 2014-05-23
It's been interesting to read up on Mark Cuban's recent utterances. He allowed as how he would be inclined to cross the street to avoid a black youth in a hoodie (and likewise a heavily tattooed white dude). He didn't claim it was rational, but acknowledged his prejudices.

People got all pissed off about the hoodie bit, and Cuban issued an apology for it that acknowledged the pain caused to Trayvon Martin's family and apologized for it and didn't attempt to minimize or deflect the criticism.

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cellio: (Default)

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posted by [personal profile] cellio at 07:22pm on 2014-05-23
Yes. When people consider being right ("I don't see how it's offensive, so it's not") to be more important than having a productive interaction with another human being, then they've just shown that they aren't able to do either. We all come from different perspectives and must be able to grant the possibility that what we said is not what someone else heard.
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