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Moth Girl Yumi (@YumiScott), 2017-04-03:
"All trans girls are cute, except me"
-Almost every trans girl, at some point
Genderedintelligence, 2019-03-31 [bold emphasis added]:
[...]
I was so terrified of 'cis judgement' and thinking of things from the 'cis perspective' that I'd forgotten to even view things from my own trans one. I was prioritising the thoughts and opinions of an imaginary hivemind I had dubbed 'The Cis' over my own well-being, and it was unhealthy.
But I couldn't help but remember how happy and free my trans friends seemed - sure they had to deal with discrimination, but it wasn't like my closeted bubble was entirely discrimination-free. And my cis friends were nice, accepting people, nothing like the 'The Cis' hivemind I'd formed in my mind...
[...]
I couldn't help but wonder where I would even be as a person, if the original members of the trans community had done the same as I had, and stayed silent about their experiences.
Transgender Day of Visibility: a day to celebrate trans lives, embrace our diverse community and even raise awareness of the struggles we still face. A day to make ourselves heard, so that not only cis people can listen and learn, but so the young trans generation can see a bright and happy future for themselves.
[...]
To any trans people out there reading this who are in a similar situation to what I faced: I know that there's safety in silence, and you should think about your own well-being and safety. But there's also joy in being vocal. With visibility, you can help the world seem like a brighter place to a young trans person in need.
[There is definitely value, both personally and to others, in being out and visible, but even in 2019 not everybody can afford to be out. National Coming Out Day (11 October) and the Transgender Day of Visibility (today) encourage, and are very much meant to encourage, folks to come out / be out / be visible, but not to pressure people or guilt-trip them into doing so. Do still weigh your own safety and what risks you feel you can afford with respect to visibility, even while remembering that if you can be out then you're helping shape the world so that the amount of risk faced by the next person trying to make that decision, will be less. It's a lot safer now than when I started saying things like this in the 1980s, but it does (alas) still bear saying.]
(no subject)
I also remember your talking to a little girl at a con who asked you why you were dressed like that, and you said, "Because I want to feel pretty. Don't you like to feel pretty?" The little girl shyly admitted that she did, and before I knew it, you and the little girl were talking about your favorite party dresses.
You've been out in situations where I wasn't even sure it was safe to be a woman, much less a trans woman, and your courage has been a mighty force.
(no subject)
Courage seldom feels like courage when one is exercising it ... so thanks for calling it that and reminding me. *hug*
(I guess "just being magic" might not necessarily feel like being magic either, so I dunno ...) But I can say that a big part of my decision, so long ago and since, to be out and visibly unashamed of who I am, was the thought that maybe just by being I could reshape the world a tiny bit and make the path a bit easier for those coming behind me (as others before me made my own path possible). Of course, another big part was the realization that trying to live in the closet would drive me mad and destroy me. That part definitely feels like necessity rather than courage.
I'm probably goin to be replaying your last line in my head the rest of the day. *moar hugz*