People will make honest mistakes or stumble sometimes and that's frustrating but we at least know the intentions are good even if people are imperfect. But going digging just to conjure up hurt and rub it in people's faces? Ugh. Why do people have to be so shitty?
In those rare cases where the past name matters for some reason, I tend to say something like "Owen who was then Zoe" (or "then known as" would be better, I guess). Is there a better way to handle that? I mean, I never want to drag people's unwanted past into things unnecessarily, and yet sometimes current context doesn't transpose into the past well.
(Tangent: did you know that Jewish law forbids bringing up a convert's non-Jewish past, except in cases where that really does matter, by which I mean things like marriage arrangements where lineage is involved? So I've already learned some stuff about eliding or working around past versions of a person, a little. This can be learned. I do stumble sometimes, with both Jewish status and gender, and am sometimes embarrassed and try to do better.)
(no subject)
People will make honest mistakes or stumble sometimes and that's frustrating but we at least know the intentions are good even if people are imperfect. But going digging just to conjure up hurt and rub it in people's faces? Ugh. Why do people have to be so shitty?
In those rare cases where the past name matters for some reason, I tend to say something like "Owen who was then Zoe" (or "then known as" would be better, I guess). Is there a better way to handle that? I mean, I never want to drag people's unwanted past into things unnecessarily, and yet sometimes current context doesn't transpose into the past well.
(Tangent: did you know that Jewish law forbids bringing up a convert's non-Jewish past, except in cases where that really does matter, by which I mean things like marriage arrangements where lineage is involved? So I've already learned some stuff about eliding or working around past versions of a person, a little. This can be learned. I do stumble sometimes, with both Jewish status and gender, and am sometimes embarrassed and try to do better.)