eftychia: Me in kilt and poofy shirt, facing away, playing acoustic guitar behind head (Default)
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posted by [personal profile] eftychia at 04:31am on 2002-12-29

My brother's new band is very good. But not quite as good, yet, as his old band. Then again, the new band is very, very new. And much smaller. The music was great. I've got a headache from (I think) the cigarette smoke. I saw my sister for, I think, the first time since my brother's wedding. We did not speak. We did not make eye contact. That was not a bad thing. The fact that it was not a bad thing is itself a bad thing, but that's old news. Mom (and my aunt and uncle) were babysitting for my sister and her husband, so I was free to wear Glenn-clothes to the concert. My sister in law liked my shoes -- I figured it was a "cute shoes" night, not another night for the boots. I'd thought the get-together at my brother's house was Saturday afternoon without Mom, but Saturday was just the concert. The get-together is Sunday, with Mom present.. My cousins will be crashing there, and my mom, aunt, and uncle, and some list of additional people (IIRC) will be showing up around 13:00. My sister in law has said, as reported earlier, that at her house I should follow her rules, not Mom's rules, and according to her rules I should show up dressed as myself rather than feeling forced into "visit mom" disguise, so the gathering is going to be ... interesting. I could get very longwinded about that last sentence, but I won't (yet). I had thought I'd get a chance to try to get Mom to hear my side of things before having her face seeing me for the first time, but it looks like the argument will have to happen after the shock unless I Completely Wimp Out. I'm nervous. I don't want to upset Mom, and were it not for my sister in law's nudging I'd probably continue putting this day off, but I'm also pretty damned tired of playing the games needed to protect Mom's feelings (and failing at those games anyhow, based on what was said Thursday).

One of my cousins is offering to take the blame for the big part of what Mom is currently upset at me for, but I don't think I can do that. But if she wants to help my sister in law run verbal interference for me this afternoon, I'll accept that help.

The project that must be finished by New Year is closer to being done than I'd thought. I was worried that I'd screwed up ever single blank trying to do the engraving, but I showed them to my sister in law and asked for a sanity check, and she said they're okay. They do not look as neat as I'd wanted, but as long as they look "neat enough" and the effect is 'handmade' rather than 'sloppy', I guess they'll fly. The reason I asked for the sanity check is that I worried that I was looking at them from a position too close to the project, and turning perfectionist at the wrong time. The timing is still going to be close, depending on how long it takes the finish to dry.

Feh. More to say, but really must go sleep. BTW, I'm up to #63 on the "100 things about me" post I'm slowly assembling.

Mood:: headache
There are 3 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
cellio: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] cellio at 08:10am on 2002-12-29
It sounds like Mom is making zero effort to meet you part-way, sniping even when you make obvious concessions to her. If she's going to blow up anyway, the timing and setting may as well be under your control.

Perhaps your SIL could say something to Mom in advance like "in my house we're following my rules, and that means he's wearing Glenn clothes", to sort of prime her?

Good luck! *hugs*
 
posted by [identity profile] lothie.livejournal.com at 06:16pm on 2002-12-31
Eep? What happened with your sister? I thought you two got along.
 
posted by [identity profile] dmk.livejournal.com at 03:51pm on 2003-01-06
I didn't realize you were that far from being truthful around your mother. I wonder how much of her feelings are due to her Old-World upbringing -- my Mom had a lot of disagreements with her father, who was born in Italy (although he emigrated at age three).
And Mom wants to make sure you know you're always welcome to spend time with her. Yeah, different Mom, but sometimes it's nice to know *someone* in that generation can deal with who you are.

((hugs))

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