Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

"ANNAPOLIS, MD -- Citing mounting debt and a decline in tourism dollars, the state of Maryland will shut down for good on August 31, Maryland Gov. Robert L. Erhlich Jr. told reporters Monday." And, "Although current residents of Maryland will be allowed to stay in the state until they can arrange to relocate, they must do so without government services. Experts predict the state will become a vast vacant lot within five years."

(Relax, it's just The Onion.)