Okay, I'm packing in existence. I pulled out my ever useful had-it-for-20-yrs box cutter to help a nice little asian lady split a dozen eggs in the grocery store, and actually was kind of afraid someone would see me and accuse me of something. Then they'd find my Swiss army knife (the teeny one I keep for its scissors) and my nail file and clippers. There must be something sinister about pens, chapstick, and tooth epoxy, as these things go.
So I'm going to go to bed without my sinister-looking purse/vest, flush my not yet read 2004 "Old Farmers" down the loo, shred all my cool maps that don't apply to anywhere that exists anymore, (points awarded to anyone who knows where Dalmatia or Pomerania was), hide the useful ones that help me figure out which of 28 non-contiguous sections of Wakefield St. I might be looking for, and take a page from Bill Morrissey. I'll set my snooze alarm for May and see how dangerous it is out there then. (the song includes a SWAT team on the roof) The FBI might not notice me. Such a dangerous plump greying huswif. Maybe I should be keeping Grandpa's cultivating tool where I can reach it, just in case? Oh no, they'll find my copy of "They're Coming to Take Me Away". I draw the line there. The cultivating tool is definitely coming in.
I've always been scareder of my own bureaucracies than others' terrorism anyway.
*lol* Yeah. I've got some nice knives I never have on me anymore b/c I might just want to go into one of the downtown museums. I'm hoping in a corner of my mind that they decided to say no to knives and scissors not b/c of pure idiocy and fear someone might hijack the building but instead b/c they realized they could keep down some incidental vandalism.
*sigh* I find myself *so* tempted by the key knife/screwdriver Chesapeake Knife & Tool is selling for either $20 or possibly 50% off of that. But if I forgot to take that thing off my keyring b4 getting on a plane they'd NEVER believe it was a mistake...
pillows
So I'm going to go to bed without my sinister-looking purse/vest, flush my not yet read 2004 "Old Farmers" down the loo, shred all my cool maps that don't apply to anywhere that exists anymore, (points awarded to anyone who knows where Dalmatia or Pomerania was), hide the useful ones that help me figure out which of 28 non-contiguous sections of Wakefield St. I might be looking for, and take a page from Bill Morrissey. I'll set my snooze alarm for May and see how dangerous it is out there then. (the song includes a SWAT team on the roof) The FBI might not notice me. Such a dangerous plump greying huswif. Maybe I should be keeping Grandpa's cultivating tool where I can reach it, just in case? Oh no, they'll find my copy of "They're Coming to Take Me Away". I draw the line there. The cultivating tool is definitely coming in.
I've always been scareder of my own bureaucracies than others' terrorism anyway.
Re: pillows
Yeah. I've got some nice knives I never have on me anymore b/c I might just want to go into one of the downtown museums. I'm hoping in a corner of my mind that they decided to say no to knives and scissors not b/c of pure idiocy and fear someone might hijack the building but instead b/c they realized they could keep down some incidental vandalism.
*sigh*
I find myself *so* tempted by the key knife/screwdriver Chesapeake Knife & Tool is selling for either $20 or possibly 50% off of that. But if I forgot to take that thing off my keyring b4 getting on a plane they'd NEVER believe it was a mistake...