Not telling your employer you smoke dope is exactly the type of thing I find appropriate. Or telling your kid's teacher, or your next door neighbor you don't really know. And there is a difference between not discussing something, such as your sex life with your parents or the details of what you ate for lunch today with someone who doesn't really care, and keeping a secret. That's more like not telling the folks your lovers beats you and lying about where you got the bruises.
I do trust my husband with my core identity. It took years of "will he still love me if he knows I did this once or feel this right now" but now that level of comfort is the standard against which I judge other relationships. Basically, the more I feel I need to hold back something, the less authentic I feel I am being in that situation and the less I like it.
Re: I dissent!
I do trust my husband with my core identity. It took years of "will he still love me if he knows I did this once or feel this right now" but now that level of comfort is the standard against which I judge other relationships. Basically, the more I feel I need to hold back something, the less authentic I feel I am being in that situation and the less I like it.