Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

Try straight maples, at least if the axiom holds between here and Maryland... Yeah, they're still acers, but you English people have weird trees. ;)

They don't all turn into trees, you know, and if you think maple keys are bad, you should see embryonic poplars, that fluff stuff. That shit gets in everything (it used to give our pool filter byssinosis regularly every spring), and we'd get little tiny poplar trees sprouting in the lawn, in the eavestroughs, in the corners of the pool liner, in the cracks between the paving stones in the patio and driveway, in the cat's water bowl, in my mom's potted plants, et cetera, ad nauseam. The maple keys that don't turn into trees wind up under the floor mats by the back door, clogging up the eavestroughs (again), and being systematically disassembled by gangs of fidgety children who like to throw them into the air a few times and then peel them open and play with the sticky green seeds... :) Poplar fluff you can actually finger-spin into some sort of fibre, assuming that you gin it with your fingers first to get the seeds out. You can also collect it and throw it in the trash, if you feel so inclined.

Then again, my feeling on the subject is that maples are nice and poplars are weeds... :D