QotD [Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος]

"Amusingly, dying my hair some odd shade of purple has been highly beneficial: the dirty old men are scared of me, nice folks seem more willing to approach me. One day i had a little old lady on the bus tell me straight-up that she only asked me for directions because she never met any jerks with bright hair." -- heinousbitca, 2007-12-11

[I decided to move the preceeding quote earlier in the queue after I read the following one. :-)]

"[...] So I'm going oh shit oh shit oh shit as I hand him my license calmly, because other than speeding I have definitely not done anything wrong; my license is my real driver's license with a real picture of me on it and I happen to not look like that picture anymore because I have short hair and a beard now, but there's nothing illegal about that, so there's no reason for me to deal with a problem that hasn't actually even happened yet. And, sure enough, he didn't say anything about the gender or the photo not looking like me.

"Because you know why? I HAVE FREAKING PURPLE HAIR. Nobody questions why someone with purple hair doesn't look like the photo on their license, and cops don't care what gender they 'mistook' you for once they realize you're just a kid with purple hair. It's obvious that I have cut my hair and dyed it purple since that photo was taken. Nobody expects you to look like your license photo when you have purple hair, no matter what gender they thought you were before they noticed the hair."

-- peaceofpie, 2007-12-29

[Y'know, I wasn't considering it before, but now I wonder whether I ought to die my hair purple too ...]

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I had purple hair for a little while. Not in my teens--I was around 35--and not for any particularly rebellious reason. I was working as a counselor in a high school and one day accidentally (don't ask) dyed my hair blue and found that the kids, most of whom had multiple tattoos, piercings, etc., seemed much readier to talk to me. So I experimented and when the blue wore off I went purple (intentionally this time).

What was interesting was, yeah, that purple seems to be generally perceived as non-threatening, and more so than blue or green or other colors. True, I didn't get the next job I applied for (in a Catholic residential-therapy program), but I got more smiles than usual, esp. when the sun suddenly hit my hair (it was almost-black when less illuminated), and for the first time in my life strangers were coming up to me on the street to tell me I looked great. I'm far from conventionally attractive, and nothing but the hair had changed...but people really liked the purple hair.

I've thought about going back to that, but I'm in a different part of the country now and probably couldn't get away with it in my professional life. Oh well.

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What was interesting was, yeah, that purple seems to be generally perceived as non-threatening, and more so than blue or green or other colors.

I've noticed this myself. Little old ladies on the bus pet my hair and tell me it's pretty. Little kids tug my cloak and ask me if I'm a fairy (just happened again last night). Teenagers ask for hair advice. Men old enough to be my grandfather wink at me and smile.

Like yours, mine is not as noticeable until I'm in bright light. If I step into the sun, all hell breaks loose. But in a good way.

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I've been wanting to dye my hair purple for a while now. Maybe....hmm....

Purple hair is definitely tha bomb. I did mine just before Hallowe'en for a costume, and I don't know when (if ever) I'll change it back.

I think you would look best with purple streaks.

I (heart) purple hair, but the bleaching process is a bitch. Streaks might work better than doing the whole thing.

You don't have to bleach it first.

missysedai gets great purple in her dark brown hair without bleach.

Mine is pretty dark, I found I had to bleach it first. DGlenn's is even darker.

/shrug. I just found it too high maintenance. Others' mileage may vary.

Enh, not since they changed the damned dye formualtion. Now I have to bleach, but only once a year.

Streaks are probably easier to hide under a hat for job purposes, too....

Depends on where you work. In my last office position, I didn't have to put mine up or hide it in any fashion. Clients who needed something were advised to "Ask Maggie. You can't miss her, she's got the long purple hair."

I had two-tone hair for a while -- black in the back and various shades of blue in the front. (The shades ranged from bright turquose to a dark, purplish navy.) I got more compliments on my hair, people randomly saying nice things to me, people telling me how great I looked (even my super-conservative stodgy dad said my blue hair looked good, and he sounded stunned at saying it), and so on. I'd really like to do that again, but I have a straight job now, and I think blue hair wouldn't work with their such-as-it-is dress code. On the other hand, I am thinking of going back to the all-over blue-black that I had it for years, with extra blue if possible. (Deep indigo hair rocks, and looks awesome with a power suit.)

Dearlove, you don't have that much hair on your head now. Do your wonderful beard.

Wow, my purple hair got me quoted! SWEET!

I just realized, I don't remember what pronouns you prefer?

Whoops -- I meant to reply to this when you wrote it, but I got sidetracked and forgot until now. Argh.

I'm not picky about pronouns; pretty much anything but 'it' is okay. What preference I do have is that I like being called 'she', and even find it rather flattering (if a bit startling when I'm not expecting it), but given the male components of my jumbled "gender performance" I'm aware that 'she' does not come at all naturally to many people with regard to me (it's probably a lot easier for the folks who only know me online than for the ones who've known me a long time in meatspace) and it sometimes confuses third parties hearing me referred to as 'she', so it's not a big deal when people refer to me as 'he'. (If I ever shave the beard and attempt a less ambiguous gender presentation, that'll change too.)

So if you want to get in the habit of referring to me as 'she', I would be honoured, but it's not something to worry about forgetting or slipping up on.

'Sie' (or 'ze') is fine too; it feels more correct to me than 'he', and probably feels more correct than 'she' to a lot of people who know me face-to-face. It's certainly less confusing, at least to people used to hearing 'sie/hir/ze/ey'/etc. already. I've got absolutely no problem with 'sie'. I just like 'she' a bit better. :-)

I'm not fond of 'ey' or 'e', but I won't object to someone who routinely uses that as hir gender-neutral construction using it to refer to me. I'm not going to dictate which gender-neutral neologisms people use; better to support them for using gender-neutral pronouns at all than to get into a game of "call this person 'ey' but call that person 'sie'".

I prefer to call you by whatever you want to be called by. "She" you are! :D

Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

QotD

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Short version: prefer 'she' but seriously not picky

Re: Short version: prefer 'she' but seriously not picky

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