nevertheless, if you don't speak up, or out, don't expect people not in your situation to grok why you feel oppressed, or hurt.
I would change that to "regardless of whether you speak up, or out, don't expect..." Because in my experience, education does not confer immediate grokking. When a person discovers they've caused offense, they are more likely to get defensive than to be enlightened right away. They might be enlightened in the future, once they've had a chance to think about it, or once they've heard the same thing enough times, or once they experience a similar situation.
So when I choose to educate someone about my situation, I think of it as a favor to the other people in my situation. And I'm less likely to do it when I am personally upset, because I don't want the fallout to increase my upset.
When a person discovers they've caused offense, they are more likely to get defensive than to be enlightened right away.
In many cases. I am spoiled in that so many of the people I associate with (most of whom do enjoy privilege of one sort or another) have gotten past that. (I know that it's not an easy lesson; in my case, it took hurting several people I cared about several times too many, with predictably bad results.)
Expecting someone who's caused injury to understand why, even with an explanation, is probably too much. I'll stand by the statement that it's unreasonable to expect understanding without explanation. It's the middle ground between those two, where some people will get it, and more won't, that gives me both hope and frustration.
(no subject)
I would change that to "regardless of whether you speak up, or out, don't expect..." Because in my experience, education does not confer immediate grokking. When a person discovers they've caused offense, they are more likely to get defensive than to be enlightened right away. They might be enlightened in the future, once they've had a chance to think about it, or once they've heard the same thing enough times, or once they experience a similar situation.
So when I choose to educate someone about my situation, I think of it as a favor to the other people in my situation. And I'm less likely to do it when I am personally upset, because I don't want the fallout to increase my upset.
(no subject)
In many cases. I am spoiled in that so many of the people I associate with (most of whom do enjoy privilege of one sort or another) have gotten past that. (I know that it's not an easy lesson; in my case, it took hurting several people I cared about several times too many, with predictably bad results.)
Expecting someone who's caused injury to understand why, even with an explanation, is probably too much. I'll stand by the statement that it's unreasonable to expect understanding without explanation. It's the middle ground between those two, where some people will get it, and more won't, that gives me both hope and frustration.