If sex with the motherfucker is what is happening in the *second* field, what's going on in fields one and three? Having been a motherfucker myself, I have a personal interest here.
I think we need a broader set of customs around "we're inventing language here". Trans is a new concept, and so the people who *need* the language don't know what it is either, because they haven't invented it yet. And the people trying to talk with them/us are IME most often not trying to be unfriendly, it's that they don't know the as-yet nonexistent language either, and are guessing. Perhaps more of the flavor and custom of improv theatre might be useful here: "None of us know what we're doing, so wing it."
best,
Joel. Who's in favor of sex and gender, in as many flavors as are desirable and implementable.
Here's the thing: trans isn't new. Cis people have mostly just been Not Paying Attention when trans people have tried to talk about it for at least the last couple generations. Or paying attention for a while and then forgetting and saying "but it's so new" again the next time it comes up.
But the quotation isn't even mostly about the language -- more extent to which socially constructed spaces and perceptions are so gendered and the expectations are so binary gendered. It's not just the language or even mostly the language; it's the stuff the language describes or doesn't describe or confuses, most often doesn't describe because most people aren't noticing and talking about it. Unspoken assumptions, gender-lensed perceptions, and unexamined expectations.
Inventing Language
I think we need a broader set of customs around "we're inventing language here". Trans is a new concept, and so the people who *need* the language don't know what it is either, because they haven't invented it yet. And the people trying to talk with them/us are IME most often not trying to be unfriendly, it's that they don't know the as-yet nonexistent language either, and are guessing. Perhaps more of the flavor and custom of improv theatre might be useful here: "None of us know what we're doing, so wing it."
best,
Joel. Who's in favor of sex and gender, in as many flavors as are desirable and implementable.
Re: Inventing Language
But the quotation isn't even mostly about the language -- more extent to which socially constructed spaces and perceptions are so gendered and the expectations are so binary gendered. It's not just the language or even mostly the language; it's the stuff the language describes or doesn't describe or confuses, most often doesn't describe because most people aren't noticing and talking about it. Unspoken assumptions, gender-lensed perceptions, and unexamined expectations.
But that's not new either.