> But if you have generic Clue to share, things I haven't thought of that I can figure > out how well they apply, I'll listen.
I don't have the magic phrase, of course. But it occurs to me that this may not be so much about *what* you say, as about your willingness to say it and stick by it. I mean, you'll likely put in the usual stuff about "Mom, I love you, and making you happy is important to me - so important that I've honored your wishes about my garb for X years. But it's eating me up inside to have to maintain a facade, especially to the one who I'd love the most to know me - the real me. I can no longer pretend I am other than who I am, and I want to honor you by letting you get to know the real me. And I want you to honor me in turn by welcoming and accepting the real me."
Or something like that.
But really, if she's going to hear it, she'll hear it; if she's inclined not to, she won't. And it comes down to, who is going to be the one to draw the line?
What will happen if you simply tell her some variant of the above, finishing with "And I am going to dress as *me* from now on, and you will have to accept that." Will she grit her teeth and put up with it? Go along with it but make snide remarks? Say she never wants to see you again?
(no subject)
> out how well they apply, I'll listen.
I don't have the magic phrase, of course. But it occurs to me that this may not be so much about *what* you say, as about your willingness to say it and stick by it. I mean, you'll likely put in the usual stuff about "Mom, I love you, and making you happy is important to me - so important that I've honored your wishes about my garb for X years. But it's eating me up inside to have to maintain a facade, especially to the one who I'd love the most to know me - the real me. I can no longer pretend I am other than who I am, and I want to honor you by letting you get to know the real me. And I want you to honor me in turn by welcoming and accepting the real me."
Or something like that.
But really, if she's going to hear it, she'll hear it; if she's inclined not to, she won't. And it comes down to, who is going to be the one to draw the line?
What will happen if you simply tell her some variant of the above, finishing with "And I am going to dress as *me* from now on, and you will have to accept that." Will she grit her teeth and put up with it? Go along with it but make snide remarks? Say she never wants to see you again?
And how well can you withstand each of these?
Hugs,
Geri