...even if you are monogamous, the idea that you have to take responsibility for those things holds true.
I am a primarily monogamous woman, but I do not expect my SO to cure all my ills, resolve all my problems, or do anything more than share his life with me. And I suspect that this has more to do with my personal values and beliefs about how I "am" in the world, than about the number (or, for that matter, gender) of my partner(s).
Further, I am sure that there are as many folks in poly who, whether they admit it or not, believe that their partners are responsible for "handling" (for lack of a better term) various parts of their happiness. Unfortunately, this just means that they are spreading the resonsibility for their happiness among a greater number of people, not taking responsibility for it themselves.
Similarly, I have been involved with monogamous men who have given me total freedom to be myself, and with poly men who have tried to make me fit into one or another kind of model.
Yes, I realize that n0ire was making a general statement, but as a mongamous person who attempts, at least, to take responsibility for her own happiness, I wanted to drop my $.02 into the bucket.
Not to put words into n0ire's mouth, but I read her entry as saying that being poly makes one more likely to be aware of this, not that it's something poly guarantees or only possible with poly.
Well, but...
I am a primarily monogamous woman, but I do not expect my SO to cure all my ills, resolve all my problems, or do anything more than share his life with me. And I suspect that this has more to do with my personal values and beliefs about how I "am" in the world, than about the number (or, for that matter, gender) of my partner(s).
Further, I am sure that there are as many folks in poly who, whether they admit it or not, believe that their partners are responsible for "handling" (for lack of a better term) various parts of their happiness. Unfortunately, this just means that they are spreading the resonsibility for their happiness among a greater number of people, not taking responsibility for it themselves.
Similarly, I have been involved with monogamous men who have given me total freedom to be myself, and with poly men who have tried to make me fit into one or another kind of model.
Yes, I realize that
Re: Well, but...
Re: Well, but...
And I think it's a myth that somone who is poly is more likely to be aware of it. I've met too many poly folks who, at best, give it lip service.