Sexual violence is a terribly pervasive thing. Men are raped, too, though (I think) not quite as frequently as women. Sexual violence is such a terribly murky area to enter, as well, because violent sex and sexual violence are indistinguishable in the mind of the "average" individual on the street. I think most people have problems with gray areas, and want everything to be distinct, black or white.
Life isn't like that, though, and that's why rapists and other sexual predators can claim that "it was consensual" or "she asked for it" and sometimes get away. I hate that. I know whether I consent to something or not. So does any partner I might be with.
In my case, communication was murky and there was confusion as to consent. Which may be part of the reason I'm twitchy about communication, and frequently worried whether I'm sure I've understood what was really meant or whether I've communicated my own intent adequately. I hadn't connected that set of fears to it before, but now I wonder.
And people are so uncomfortable about communicating about sex, which just makes it even murkier, doesn't it? It's difficult. All I can say is, "I you aren't sure, ask. If you're still not sure, ask again."
I was actually rather touched and charmed, when once upon a time a date asked permission to kiss me goodnight.
(no subject)
Life isn't like that, though, and that's why rapists and other sexual predators can claim that "it was consensual" or "she asked for it" and sometimes get away. I hate that. I know whether I consent to something or not. So does any partner I might be with.
My two cents.
(no subject)
(no subject)
I was actually rather touched and charmed, when once upon a time a date asked permission to kiss me goodnight.