i don't think it's a generational *or* fannish thing, although fen are almost universally heterosocial. i think it's a cultural thing and/or function of one's interests. if you were raised in a household where you saw your parents socialize regularly and they only socialized with those of their own gender -- your mother had girlfriends, your father had male friends, and when they socialized as couples the group always split on gender lines -- you'll tend toward the same habits yourself through natural socialization. (since i drifted from fandom i've been really surprised by the number of people i've met who find it difficult to believe there's nothing romantic going on between me and my many male friends. i'd been so immersed in the heterosocial environment that i simply hadn't realized we were in the minority.)
social groups composed largely of intellectually curious people (the sort who are constantly accumulating knowledge on a broad range of topics -- fen are a good example) tend to be heterosocial simply because at some point it becomes uncomfortable to socialize with the less knowledgeable (unless you tend to the taciturn) -- they're constantly expressing amazement at your cleverness, or they assume you're showing off.
likewise groups of people with specialized interests -- if there are only a limited number of people who share your interest, you can't afford to discriminate. if you're any sort of "geek": physics geek, computer geek, astronomy geek, etc. -- you're probably oriented to the heterosocial.
Hmm... I'd like to propose precisely the opposite to your statement that "if you were raised in a household where you saw your parents socialize regularly and they only socialized with those of their own gender ... you'll tend toward the same habits yourself through natural socialization." I'd phrase it more like "If you're the kind of person for whom socialisation will actually take, you'll probably wind up with the same kind of habits as your parents." Since I'm not, I didn't.
Frankly, I don't want to do anything the way my parents did it. Their lives are mediocre, too well funded for their intrinsic worth, bigoted, and too traditional. I don't really care to be like them. (Just so you know, I'm not a spleeny teenager; I'm within a month of my thirtieth birthday and I've spent a lot of time thinking about just precisely how my parents' straightjacketed attitudes have been pissing me off for the last three decades or so.)
I got a lot of grief for being heterosocial, which I've been for a long time. In elementary school, I had some male friends, and I got yelled at for having them. When I got into high school, my mother informed me that I could no longer telephone my male friends, because "girls don't phone boys; it's not right," and it's literally taken my mother years (if she actually has) to figure out that I haven't actually been sleeping with all of my male friends. I'm not sure my father has an opinion one way or the other. (The fact that I'm also the kind of person who has a habit of sleeping with her friends and still keeping the relationship on the level of "friendship" probably shouldn't enter into this discussion, because I don't like to talk about my sex life with my parents, for obvious reasons.) My mom especially can't distinguish between "boyfriend" and "boy friend."
Granted, my mother would never make that assumption about any female friends I introduced to her, even if I were sleeping with them. That's probably a good thing, because I don't want to have to explain bisexuality (among other things) to her, and I don't even want to get into gender issues (I'm not exactly cisgendered either, and that's probably got something to do with what siderea mentions -- I tend toward gynandry) and all that kind of stuff, either. (This is the same woman who once told me "I don't hate black people, I just think white people are better." I've pretty much written her off.)
Call me rebellious if you must. I just consider that I'm not wired to be like them.
I dunno. I was just pondering my fannish activities, which mostly revolve around livejournal slash communities, and slash is *definitely* homosocial. This is interesting, because I think my usual comfort zone is more heterosocial.
(no subject)
social groups composed largely of intellectually curious people (the sort who are constantly accumulating knowledge on a broad range of topics -- fen are a good example) tend to be heterosocial simply because at some point it becomes uncomfortable to socialize with the less knowledgeable (unless you tend to the taciturn) -- they're constantly expressing amazement at your cleverness, or they assume you're showing off.
likewise groups of people with specialized interests -- if there are only a limited number of people who share your interest, you can't afford to discriminate. if you're any sort of "geek": physics geek, computer geek, astronomy geek, etc. -- you're probably oriented to the heterosocial.
(no subject)
Frankly, I don't want to do anything the way my parents did it. Their lives are mediocre, too well funded for their intrinsic worth, bigoted, and too traditional. I don't really care to be like them. (Just so you know, I'm not a spleeny teenager; I'm within a month of my thirtieth birthday and I've spent a lot of time thinking about just precisely how my parents' straightjacketed attitudes have been pissing me off for the last three decades or so.)
I got a lot of grief for being heterosocial, which I've been for a long time. In elementary school, I had some male friends, and I got yelled at for having them. When I got into high school, my mother informed me that I could no longer telephone my male friends, because "girls don't phone boys; it's not right," and it's literally taken my mother years (if she actually has) to figure out that I haven't actually been sleeping with all of my male friends. I'm not sure my father has an opinion one way or the other. (The fact that I'm also the kind of person who has a habit of sleeping with her friends and still keeping the relationship on the level of "friendship" probably shouldn't enter into this discussion, because I don't like to talk about my sex life with my parents, for obvious reasons.) My mom especially can't distinguish between "boyfriend" and "boy friend."
Granted, my mother would never make that assumption about any female friends I introduced to her, even if I were sleeping with them. That's probably a good thing, because I don't want to have to explain bisexuality (among other things) to her, and I don't even want to get into gender issues (I'm not exactly cisgendered either, and that's probably got something to do with what siderea mentions -- I tend toward gynandry) and all that kind of stuff, either. (This is the same woman who once told me "I don't hate black people, I just think white people are better." I've pretty much written her off.)
Call me rebellious if you must. I just consider that I'm not wired to be like them.
(no subject)
I dunno. I was just pondering my fannish activities, which mostly revolve around livejournal slash communities, and slash is *definitely* homosocial. This is interesting, because I think my usual comfort zone is more heterosocial.