Hmm... I'd like to propose precisely the opposite to your statement that "if you were raised in a household where you saw your parents socialize regularly and they only socialized with those of their own gender ... you'll tend toward the same habits yourself through natural socialization." I'd phrase it more like "If you're the kind of person for whom socialisation will actually take, you'll probably wind up with the same kind of habits as your parents." Since I'm not, I didn't.
Frankly, I don't want to do anything the way my parents did it. Their lives are mediocre, too well funded for their intrinsic worth, bigoted, and too traditional. I don't really care to be like them. (Just so you know, I'm not a spleeny teenager; I'm within a month of my thirtieth birthday and I've spent a lot of time thinking about just precisely how my parents' straightjacketed attitudes have been pissing me off for the last three decades or so.)
I got a lot of grief for being heterosocial, which I've been for a long time. In elementary school, I had some male friends, and I got yelled at for having them. When I got into high school, my mother informed me that I could no longer telephone my male friends, because "girls don't phone boys; it's not right," and it's literally taken my mother years (if she actually has) to figure out that I haven't actually been sleeping with all of my male friends. I'm not sure my father has an opinion one way or the other. (The fact that I'm also the kind of person who has a habit of sleeping with her friends and still keeping the relationship on the level of "friendship" probably shouldn't enter into this discussion, because I don't like to talk about my sex life with my parents, for obvious reasons.) My mom especially can't distinguish between "boyfriend" and "boy friend."
Granted, my mother would never make that assumption about any female friends I introduced to her, even if I were sleeping with them. That's probably a good thing, because I don't want to have to explain bisexuality (among other things) to her, and I don't even want to get into gender issues (I'm not exactly cisgendered either, and that's probably got something to do with what siderea mentions -- I tend toward gynandry) and all that kind of stuff, either. (This is the same woman who once told me "I don't hate black people, I just think white people are better." I've pretty much written her off.)
Call me rebellious if you must. I just consider that I'm not wired to be like them.
(no subject)
Frankly, I don't want to do anything the way my parents did it. Their lives are mediocre, too well funded for their intrinsic worth, bigoted, and too traditional. I don't really care to be like them. (Just so you know, I'm not a spleeny teenager; I'm within a month of my thirtieth birthday and I've spent a lot of time thinking about just precisely how my parents' straightjacketed attitudes have been pissing me off for the last three decades or so.)
I got a lot of grief for being heterosocial, which I've been for a long time. In elementary school, I had some male friends, and I got yelled at for having them. When I got into high school, my mother informed me that I could no longer telephone my male friends, because "girls don't phone boys; it's not right," and it's literally taken my mother years (if she actually has) to figure out that I haven't actually been sleeping with all of my male friends. I'm not sure my father has an opinion one way or the other. (The fact that I'm also the kind of person who has a habit of sleeping with her friends and still keeping the relationship on the level of "friendship" probably shouldn't enter into this discussion, because I don't like to talk about my sex life with my parents, for obvious reasons.) My mom especially can't distinguish between "boyfriend" and "boy friend."
Granted, my mother would never make that assumption about any female friends I introduced to her, even if I were sleeping with them. That's probably a good thing, because I don't want to have to explain bisexuality (among other things) to her, and I don't even want to get into gender issues (I'm not exactly cisgendered either, and that's probably got something to do with what siderea mentions -- I tend toward gynandry) and all that kind of stuff, either. (This is the same woman who once told me "I don't hate black people, I just think white people are better." I've pretty much written her off.)
Call me rebellious if you must. I just consider that I'm not wired to be like them.