Δαφνη Ευτυχια Αρθουρος

[Reposted here from note_to_cat ... folks reading here will recognize this as an "oh no, not again". Obviously, I have still not managed to communicate the idea of using the bathtub as a mouse-containment zone.]

Dear Perrine,

Please don't let them get so much of a head start when you let them go so you can chase them again. They tend to get away from you when you do that, you cocky feline.

Please don't bring them upstairs to play with. There's plenty of room to chase them in the kitchen where you find them, even if it means not having my help to move the things they run underneath when you give them too much of a head start. Especially since it means you won't have my help, in light of the next item...

When I've been trying to hard to sort out my sleep patterns, PLEASE don't pick the day I finally got to sleep at a reasonable hour to wake me out of a perfectly interesting spaceship dream by scratching noisily in the papers and magazines at the foot of the bed, then dropping your newest toy in the bed to run across my groin! Yes, yes, this did work to enlist my help in the chase, and I know how you like to have me involved in your sport, but I really had other plans for that time, and all of them involved sleeping more than four hours, dammit!

I'm grateful that you're doing your job, the job I'd considered borrowing someone else's cat for before you decided to move in, but could you please either do it by yourself or do it when I'm already awake? And not in my our bed? When I'm awake, it's fun to watch you work and I'm willing to help, but I really wanted this sleep!

-- Your reluctantly awake hunting partner

P.S.: This morning's mouse is in the plastic container next to the bed (that I fortunately hadn't gotten around to taking downstairs to put in the recycling bag) to be disposed of when I'm more awake. If you notice it there, please don't let it out. And please try not to make so much noise batting the container around that you wake me again if I manage to get back to sleep.

P.P.S.: Please?